Thoughts on the Orlando Shooting

I did not hear the news about the Orlando shooting until after Mass this afternoon.  I will admit, I do not pay much attention to news on Sunday mornings until after Mass, mainly for the sake of focusing on the liturgy.  There are days however that I regret looking at the news, and wish I never opened up Facebook on my phone while walking back from church.  Today was one of those days, and I do not know what else to say or do, so I am writing down and sharing these thoughts of mine.  I am so thankful that I was able to spend the day with a good friend of mine, because I was able to hide from my sorrow, pain, and anger for just a little while.  I was able to smile for a bit, and able to be myself.  But eventually I had to confront my feelings on this.

50 are dead in Orlando.  A shooter came into a gay club in Orlando and opened fire with a gun he legally purchased.  He was angry at the sight of two men kissing apparently, so he decided to be a good guy with a gun.

Though there are a lot of people who are mourning for the events that have happened, and say this is a crime against our common humanity, I have to admit, I find no comfort with that.  To know that the largest mass shooting in the history of the US, and the largest act of violence in the US since the 9/11 attacks were directed towards the LGBTQ community, my own community, cuts and hurts in a way that not everyone can understand.  Society hopes to soften the pain by generalising it, and yet I find that only those who are a part of other communities that experience violence en masse in the US are the ones who truly can begin to understand this pain, for though the pain is different among our communities, the hurt is the same, and in that we can find empathy with each other.

The blood of the oppressed cries out for justice from the ground of Orlando, just as it cries out throughout much of the land, and yet we do nothing.  We Americans believe that the right to own tools of murder is more important and more sacred that the lives and bodies of black people, brown people, queer people, and children.  We will never be able to end oppression in the US until we get rid of the very tools of that oppression.  Yet we do nothing.  How many more people have to die for the sake of this golden calf our society worships?

As selfish as this may sound, there are days that I am thankful that I live in Canada.  I am thankful I can walk out the door and believe that I am safe as a gay man here.  I am thankful that I do not have to live in fear for my safety, much less my life here in Toronto. I cannot imagine the fear that my LGBTQ friends in the US are feeling.  Now, because of Orlando, I am afraid to travel home to the US lest I come across someone who decides I do not deserve to live.  It is terrifying that the academic conferences that I attend, or may attend, have to send out emails about ensuring that conference spaces are safe from gun violence.  I know that because I am white and male that I am considered more acceptable in the eyes of American society, so I cannot imagine the fear that black or brown queer people are feeling in the wake of this attack.

To make matters worse, politicians and others in the US are being terrible about this.  People have been posting responses on the Internet praising the shooter, and others have attributed the shooter as being part of God’s justice against the LGBTQ community.  We also see people shifting the blame for this violence onto Islam, even though those same people have spent years demonising the LGBTQ community.  Again, though our pain may be different, we must not allow the forces of hate to divide those of us who are oppressed.

As I write this, I am listening to a Requiem Mass so that I can pray for those who have died.  I do not know how else to express the pain except to listen, to write, and to pray.  I can only hope and pray that someday that the justice of God may come and that the poor, the oppressed, and the destitute are exalted finally.  Until that day comes, I pray for the victims of the Orlando shooting, and all those who live in fear and are distressed, particularly the LGBTQ community in the US and throughout the world.

If you can, go to a rally, go to a vigil, pray, meditate, be silent, be still, mourn, cry, weep, and keep your thoughts, minds, and hearts on the victims of Orlando.


Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon all thy queer children who live with injustice, and terror as their companions. Have mercy upon us and forgive us our sins of deed or neglect against these our neighbours. Give strength to those who work for justice and opportunity for all, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

May light eternal shine, O Lord, upon them the victims of Orlando, for endless ages with thy blessed ones, for thou art gracious. Rest eternal grant unto them, O Lord: and let light perpetual shine upon them, for endless ages with thy blessed ones, for thou art gracious.

Amen.